All the Makings of the Most Romantic Weekend Possible...

Spent some time today planning what I'll be doing with this guy all weekend.

Sometimes Jim's parents take our kids for the weekend, and that's nice, because our kids are happier on their farm than anywhere else on earth, and Jim and I get to spend some time remembering what it's like to be alone, to eat dinner whenever we want to, to be loud after 8 PM, and to see movies in a theatre.

Our kids will be away this weekend.  Jim and I have been really itching to get away for about 2 months.  We wanted to head to another city, like when we went to Chicago last spring,  but didn't want to spend too much money- which limits us- so we looked around.  We like just hanging out- especially checking out new places.  After much Googling of events in Chicago, Kansas City, and the TCs, we couldn't settle on anything, and didn't want to pay to fly anywhere.  And as much fun as it would be do jump in our kid-free car and just get out of town...  the plans weren't coming together.  And we don't want to spend very much money...did I mention that?  Let me stress again- I'm dying to get away for a long weekend with Jim.  But I can't make peace with the price tag.

We'll have 3 days together- he'd already planned to take Friday off from work.  I find our revised weekend plans humorous- here they are:

• While he's at work on Thursday, I'm going to super-clean the house.  That means like, moving furniture and everything.
• We're going to volunteer at The Banquet on Friday morning- something we always want to do but the time never works out for us.
• We will steam the carpets on the main floor of our house. 
• Jim is going to inspect our vacuum, which has been giving me woes, and we may need to buy a new one.  If so we'll add finding a new vacuum to the list.
• Work in the yard.
• Pay Jim's income taxes.
• Buy birthday presents for Lily and Grace.
• Get a chip filled in our van's windshield.
• Fix our doorbell.
• Watch Steve Carrel's last episode of The Office.
• See The King's Speech at the cheap theatre.  If it's still there.  Hopefully.
• Drink lots of wine.
• Enjoy how productive we can be without kids. 

After all the work is done, I'm sure we'll still have a ton of time left to do nothing together.  And I'm looking forward to that.  A lot.

Don't Go Chasing Waterfalls

I've been braiding the girls' hair like this lately, every so often, sometimes. 

Of course I've never thought to take a picture of it.

It's true, it's not the tightest braid- if they go crazy like kids do, it will start to fall out- but- I've been securing each "fall through" with a little tiny claw clip, which still looks cute, and holds it secure if they'll be wearing it all day.

It looks especially tight and neat in Lily's straight hair, but, it also has a special, romantic feel with Grace and Patie's curly hair.  I like it.

Here's a tutorial...

Easter in an Egg Shell

Easter morning.

The annual family Easter Egg Hunt is by far Jim's favorite family tradition.  I honestly didn't care about the egg thing growing up- the only child, any "hunting" I did was sort of...lame. 

Jim cares. a. lot. about the whole process of it- the amount of eggs (a ton), the quality and quantity of candy that fills them, waking up early to hide them everywhere, and then also hiding tons of loose candy all around the house, on top of shelves, inside things, everywhere.  (Even on the tops of picture frames,etc.  I'm just sure that one of these years, especially as the hunt heats up as the kids grow, something is going to get broken.)  He says he and his brother would still find hidden eggs months after Easter, they were hidden so well at his house.  It's aaaaall about the competition.

For instance, this year, on Saturday morning I mentioned that I'd bought the Easter candy the day before.  He asks how much I bought, and what kinds.  Then he reveals that he purchased candy himself, like, 2 weeks ago.  Because I always under-buy. 

So, this year found our kids waking up with the sun, dressing quickly in their spring dresses, and running upstairs with their crazy slept-on hair to see if they could get up yet and start the hunt.  (We noticed later that Lily had already helped herself to 3 or 4 eggs while we were sleeping.  She "cleverly" nested the eggs together and hid them inside a much larger egg, which she made sure to "find" herself, only to open it later in front of us, totally "surprised" to find an egg with lots of other eggs inside of it.  Nice.)

Hudson gets a two minute head start.  He's young.  Gets overwhelmed easily.  The girls waited like poised lions for the clock to read "7:40" so they could pounce on the pastel plastic prey they'd spotted throughout the house.

Every year we use the same Easter basket and decorations, and our kids collect their eggs in grocery bags, not new baskets every year.  We like to re-use.  We fill the eggs with an assortment of Easter "standards"- lots of kinds of jelly beans, and chocolate candies that are store-bought, mass-produced, poor-quality, and absolutely not fair trade, because it's impossible to find FT chocolate in-store for kids on holidays, and too expensive to order it, and it's so important to Jim to do it this way.  Traditions, you know.

Our kids absolutely love it.  They'll be hunting for Easter eggs every spring until they go to college.  Maybe even after that. 

Milk, Cream, Eggs, Sugar.

I made the most fantastic mint espresso ice cream last weekend.  It is not hyperbolic in any way to say it is among the best ice creams that I have ever had.  The espresso and mint were both bold, and yet not overpowering.  Absolutely right.

If you make your own ice cream (I use the America's Test Kitchen Vanilla recipe, with add-ins to suit), and you want to chat about proportions of instant espresso powder and peppermint flavoring to a traditional vanilla short list of ingredients, feel free to email me. I won't post the full recipe because, well, I sort of classify typing out recipes as "busy work".  You know?

Happy Monday.

Though the Earth cried out for blood
Satisfied her hunger was
Billows calmed on raging seas
for the souls of men she craved

Sun and moon from balcony
Turned their head in disbelief
Precious love would taste the sting
disfigured and disdained

On Friday a thief
On Sunday a king
Laid down in grief
But woke with keys
Of hell on that day
First born of the slain
The man Jesus Christ
Laid death in his grave

So three days in darkness slept
The morning sun of righteousness
But rose to shame the throes of death
And over turn his rule

Now daughters and the sons of men
Would pay not their dues again
The debt of blood they owed was rent
When the day rolled anew

On Friday a thief
On Sunday a king
Laid down in grief
But awoke holding keys
To hell on that day
First born of the slain
The man Jesus Christ
Laid death in his grave

On Friday a thief
On Sunday a king
Laid down in grief
But awoke with the keys
Of hell on that day
First born of the slain
The man Jesus Christ
Laid death in his grave

He has cheated
Hell and seated
Us above the fall
In desperate places
He paid our wages
One time once and for all

-Death in His Grave,
        John Mark McMillan

What I Read...

Jayber Crow, by Wendell Berry

I actually read about half of this one- I've been planning to read it since last year.  Do you ever start a book and think it's just not time to read it right now?  It's a great book, but I couldn't commit.  Sometimes, you just need to take it back to the library, and pick it up again later.

Leavings, by Wendell Berry

What I Eat: Around the World in 80 Diets, by Peter Menzel

And I'm just beginning to read Eat This Book, by Eugene H. Peterson

By the way, the Hogwarts Society will be meeting on Friday, May 6, details here.  We'll be discussing the first 10 chapters of this book,

and to further sweeten the evening, we're finishing off a light dinner with some chocolate frogs, peppermint toads and butterbeer cupcakes.  I'm looking forward to it.  If you've read the books and you're in the area, feel free to RSVP and join us. 

Holy.

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly. Matthew 11:28-30, The Message

Sitting this week on death and resurrection and where I see it's work in my own life, and in the lives of my friends. 

Honestly, I sat down to write more, but, I'm just leaving it here.  It's a beautiful thing.  This is a Holy Week indeed.

mayflowersmayflowersmayflowersmayflowers

It's running through my head, over
and over
and over.

Our crummy, 40 degree, rain-snow-mix weather that will not quit is doing something good.  It is.  It is. 
The sun, and green grass, slushes on the porch, fires in the backyard, and long evenings of warm daylight are coming.  The trees will have leaves, the flowers will show up and show off.

All the gloom has a purpose for the Earth- and my attitude.  I'm already grateful in advance for summer.

Sweet Dreams.

I found myself cuddled up on the couch with all three of my girls on a chilly night last week, watching Tangled. 

Well, see, the girls bought the DVD, then we found ourselves watching it about 5 times that first week.

But there we were, all watching, and enjoying, Tangled.

During the song, I've Got a Dream,




I asked the girls what their dreams were.

They thought about it.  Actually, really thought about it.

Then Grace said, "I've always wanted to work with birds, you know, like know how to take care of them and have them land on your finger and stuff."

I told her that was a wonderful dream.

Lily, who did not really understand the concept of having a dream, in this context, said usually the only dreams she remembers are bad ones.  Moving on.

Later, after Patience had really had time to think about it, she said, "Well, I'd really like to be a children's librarian someday."

Talk about sweet dreams.

Just for fun...

Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it. -Confucius

Just a really long ramble about coffee.

We've been drinking Starbucks Estima Blend for a long time.

And for almost as long, I have really loved it- we both agreed it was good- very smooth, roasty sweet and deep flavor.  The last few bags I bought, though, tasted bitter to me.  A disappointment.  I tried Googling the issue and didn't find anything. Obviously that means it might just be me, because Google knows everything. Maybe the blend has changed.  Maybe my palate has changed.  Either way, it was just tasting off.  Every day. 

Three off bags later, I thought it might be good to expand our horizons- I have no idea what we're missing if I never try anything new, you know.

I'm starting with two blends from World Market.  The Costa Rican Tarrazu, and the Guatemalan Estate- these are the Fair Trade Certified twins the chain offers.  The Guatemalan option is also organic. 

I love World Market,  I do.  But I am always really disappointed that they don't do more to add a Ten Thousand Villages quality to their items.  I've never found Fair Trade chocolate there, and though I love the colorful, eclectic items from all over, World Market seems to just throw a Wal-Mart vibe at me, insofar as where their items come from.  If they got more concerned about this, of course their prices would go up... and so it goes.

Anyway.  As I type I am drinking my first cups of the Costa Rican from my french press.  First impressions-full and bright.  I like it.  Not love, but, I will give it a shot, at least through the bag.

Another bonus.  Price. 

A 16 oz. bag of Estima is about $11.  You do get to trade the bag in for a free tall brewed coffee at Starbucks, which is something I'll miss.  But still.  Let's call it $11.

A 12 oz. bag from World Market is about $9.  But, for every 6 bags you buy, you earn a free bag of coffee.  Add to it the bonus that every Wednesday is double-punch day for coffee purchases, and you get a free bag after just three purchases.  See here.

Breaking that down....

Estima Blend from Starbucks = about $.69 an ounce.  (With a free $1.49 tall coffee at the end, if you care)

World Market blends (with the Wednesday double punches) = about $.56 an ounce.

While I'm on the topic of hot beverages, I should mention I do drink this rooibos tea nearly every day,  and I love it.  You can get it at Ten Thousand Villages here in Sioux Falls.  I always knew it was made from a South African root (it's not actually "tea"), but, was delighted to see that "everyone" actually does drink rooibos tea in Zambia.  Now it's like a nice connection for me.  Rooibos is good for you- in addition to being naturally smooth, sweet, and delicious without adding a thing to it.  It also doesn't get bitter if you steep it a long time, like green tea does (my other favorite tea).  The flavor stays the same and doesn't go "bad" so you can take your time drinking it, and just leave the bags in the tea pot.  Ten Thousand Villages does carry a great selection of equal exchange coffee, too- but because it's pricier, I think I'll stick to offerings from other retailers for now as I expand our coffee horizons.

Phew, that is all I wanted to say. 

AN EMBARRASSMENT
by Wendell Berry

"Do you want to ask
the blessing?"

"No.  If you do,
go ahead."

He went ahead:
his prayer dressed up

in Sunday clothes
rose a few feet

and dropped with a soft
thump.

If a lonely soul
did ever cry out

in company its true
outcry to God,

it would be as though
at a sedate party

a man suddenly
removed his clothes

and took his wife
passionately into his arms.

Lily

You are very sweet.  And also quite spicy. I think it's appropriate that you have a cinnamon-sprinkling of freckles across your nose.  Your hair is as independent as you are- and it's almost always in your face. You are almost 5, and you don't let us forget it.

The Face.

We were playing outside, and you started telling me a story about a mouse you saw come out of it's hole in the ground- it was brown.

I had my camera in my hand, so I shot picture after picture of you telling me all about it.

As always, your hands moved with your mouth as you talked, animated and excited.  You get that from me.

This face, Grace- this is your "story face".

Clothes and Coke.

When you're in Africa, the West really isn't far away- particularly when it comes to clothes.  Clothes and Coke. 

Open air markets are full of clothes from the West.  It's funny to see the variety of slogans, advertisements, logos and the like on T-shirts, shoes and hats- not to mention all the designer labels. 

There I was in the middle of Africa, and a new friend next to me was wearing a bright red shirt advertising a fish fry in Arkansas.  Or, catching the sight of a child wearing a GAP sweatshirt that no doubt was probably made in Indonesia, shipped to somewhere exotic like Oregon, sold for $28.00, was used, donated, then eventually shipped to Zambia and ended up with that little guy up there.  Get what I mean? 

Anyway- I've seen things like this in other countries before, but, it just seemed to stick out to me more in Africa.  This book reminded me to look in to it. 

It's called Salaula.  People donate stuff to Goodwill.  Goodwill doesn't have room/need for all it receives- or- it can't sell what it has, so Goodwill sells the clothes to another middleman, who bundles them in a lot, and ships that lot to Africa (and other parts of the world), where more middle men get involved, and eventually, it ends up on a flat in a muddy market, providing a variety of inexpensive clothing to anyone ready to sort and dig- and part with some kwacha.

It's a complicated thing- you can follow the link below for more on that.
Here is the catch- countries like Zambia and Uganda had, at one time, thriving textile industries.  These used and very inexpensive clothes eliminate the demand for clothing production in-country.

Now that I was curious about it, I found this article. Michael Durham, a journalist from the UK, followed one single blouse from a bin in England to the city of Chipata, Zambia.

It's Friday.  I should cut to the chase.  All I REALLY want to say is,
The world is flat.

Just Some Books.

Honestly, one of us, or the other of us, has been sick for the last three weeks.  And the weather has been a disappointment.  I've gotten a lot of reading done.  And, library due dates always inspire me to keep my head down.  As always, I like your book suggestions, too.

Restless Spirit: The Life and Work of Dorothea Lange, by Elizabeth Partridge


Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy, by Eric Metaxas*
Eric Metaxas is an excellent biographer- both this, and the Wilberforce bio I read last year were excellent.


How Harry Cast His Spell: The Meaning Behind the Mania for J. K. Rowling's Bestselling Books, by John Granger
Text for our first Hogwarts Society meeting later this month- contact me for more info.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, by J.K. Rowling
I listened to these two via audiobook when I was doing dishes, cleaning, and trying to fall asleep with Jim coughing incessantly next to me in bed, and then kept listening while I was in bed most of the weekend. Even better the second time through, of course.


Evolving in Monkey Town, by Rachel Held Evans

50 Photographers You Should Know, by Peter Stephan

The Poor Will Be Glad: Joining the Revolution to Lift the World Out of Poverty, by Peter Greer and Phil Smith*


*I'd recommend any of the above books, but, these books come highly recommended.

The Great Commission and the Greatest Commandment



"There were times when Jesus taught and other times he simply met people's physical needs.  In each situation, he did what best demonstrated the dual nature of the kingdom of God- that it will last for eternity and is already here changing lives.  Rather than viewing the actions and teachings of Jesus as a rainbow spectrum of loving and necessary interactions, we often separate the colors with a distorted prism because we want to emphasize one thing or another.  Perhaps we have a personal preference for spoken evangelism or for fighting physical hunger, but our preferences should not place filters before our eyes and cause us to ignore the balance that's so evident in the life of Christ.

A clear example of an unfiltered viewpoint is the interplay between the Great Commission and the Greatest Commandment.  Not long before departing the earth, Jesus commissioned his disciples, saying, 'Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you' (Matthew 28:19-20).

Yet only a few weeks earlier, Jesus had given the Greatest Commandment by stating, 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ' love your neighbor as yourself' (Mathew 22:37-39).  The ministry of Christ demonstrated the seamless harmony of obeying both the Great Commission and the Greatest Commandment." 
- Phil Smith, taken from The Poor Will Be Glad: Joining the Revolution to Lift the World Out of Poverty, p. 37.

Hope has two beautiful daughters. Their names are anger and courage; anger at the way things are, and courage to see that they do not remain the way they are. -St. Augustine

Liberated.

I know several people who are married, but, for one reason or another, don't want kids right now.  Or people who are not anywhere near getting married, and can't imagine ever being a parent.  Fair enough.  I have no idea what they should do.

But I was thinking about this the other day. 

Some want a specific number of years alone together before they jump in. Some don't want children at all.

Some talk as if children are essentially a "necessary evil" that they will eventually give in to- but hopefully, not until the distant future, because they just can't imagine life with kids right now.  All the things that would have to change.  People articulate these ideas in carefully crafted euphemism- typically, we aren't so blunt. 

I've seen friends say these things, then have children, and wonder what in the world they were so afraid of.  Now they're absolutely in love with the children they feared so long would steal their independence and ruin opportunities for ministry with their time-consuming needs.

I've seen other friends have children for the wrong reasons, to complete the "set" of their family without putting much forethought into it, or having them because from far away, they seem sweet and like they'll make you feel love and loved and needed- only to get a few years into the absolute disillusionment that is real life parenting and wonder what went wrong.  Many people fail to actually count the cost of parenting before they have children.  But isn't it almost impossible to fully count that cost beforehand?

It's not so simple as to say everyone should have children-  let's not say it's that black and white.  Otherwise, a whole lot of people would be out of the will of God because, for one reason or another, they were not faithful to multiply, as we so often hear we should do, in it's various interpretations.

But the other day, as my kids made cakes and bears and stars and rockets in the afternoon sun, I thought about these things in relation to us- to our family.

Having these four children has been immeasurably significant to our lives.  So Grace, Patience, Lily, and Hudson, I'm writing this to you, not anyone else-



Loving you saved me from my self more than almost anything I've experienced.  It has been a messy road.  You have been gracious with me.  You are not an inconvenience- you're the best thing that possibly could have happened to your dad and I immediately after getting married.  You have forced us to tear away the ridiculous things we could have gotten caught up in, and to live centered on things that really matter.  God makes me more like Him when I daily live with you, and serve you when it's easy and when I'm at the end of myself.



Getting to the end of myself is exactly what God had in mind when he made me your mother, and I'm incredibly grateful for it.



And what's more- you are incredible.  You are amazing.  You are hilarious, and you keep me alert.  Awake.
You are a mirror into my own depravity and a window into exactly who I want to be when I grow up.



You are not ever a mistake.  Never a waste of time.  Never a barrier to effective ministry.  You make me more into the woman I was created to be.  Losing my self as your mother has been a bright, warm invitation into finding myself.  Loving you liberated me.

I can't imagine much that could take me closer to the heart of God than being your mother.

The Far and the Near

Thomas Wolfe wrote a poignant short story in 1935 titled, "The Far and the Near".  I read it once, 12 or 13 years ago, and it is still with me.  Here is a plot summary, found at this site, where you can read all about it,

"Wolfe's 'The Far and the Near' starts out with a description of a little town, which contains a small cottage on its outskirts. The cottage appears clean and comfortable. Every day, just after two o'clock in the afternoon, an express train passes by the house. For more than twenty years, the train engineer blows his whistle, prompting a woman inside the house to come out on her porch and wave to him. Over this time, the woman's little girl grows up, and she joins her mother in waving to the engineer. The engineer grows old during this time and sees a lot of tragedy during his service for the railroad, including four fatal accidents on the tracks in front of him. Throughout all of this tragedy, however, he remains focused on the vision of the cottage and the two women, an image that he thinks is beautiful and unchangeable. He has a father's love towards the two women and, after so many thousands of trips past their cottage, feels that he knows the women's lives completely.

As a result, he resolves to visit the women on the day he retires, to tell them what a profound effect they have had on his life. When that day comes, he walks from the train station into the small town. As he walks through the town, he is unsure of his decision, because the town seems so unfamiliar—much different from how it has looked from his train cab. When he gets to the women's cottage, he is even more unsure, but he decides to go through with it. When he meets the woman, she is instantly suspicious of him, and the train engineer is sorry that he has come. The woman whom he has idealized all of those years appears different, and her harsh voice is not what he expected. He explains who he is and why he has come, and the woman reluctantly invites him inside and calls for her daughter. The engineer sits down with both women in an ugly parlor and awkwardly talks to them while they fix him with hostile looks. Finally, the engineer leaves, and he is shaken from his experience. He is distraught because the one aspect of his life that he thought was pure and beautiful is stained. With this revelation, he realizes that he has lost all hope and that he will never be able to see the good in life again."

Uplifting, right?

To me, it seems almost prophetic.  Certainly it has always been relevant to the human condition, but it has an entirely new application in the dawning age of the Internet, and, more specifically, the blog.

The implications of our Facebook/Twitter/Google Reader/Blogger/Internet culture at our fingertips 24/7 are many- I don't need to discuss that here.  But honestly- Seinfeld would have had a field day with the amount of material this technological revolution has to offer.


I was thinking today about the good friends I've made online.  I've talked to several this week.  I admit- I don't read that many personal blogs- mostly I use Google Reader to keep up with authors, decorators, and National Geographic.  But over the years I've made some incredible friends via this blog.  Just a few very good ones- and I've "met" probably hundreds of other wonderful people.  All a bit of a happy accident, because I started talking to "no one" about my everyday life, on the Internet, to keep memories for my family, for me.  It turns out, lots of other people do the same thing.

It sounds crazy- a close friendship- a real relationship- with someone you have never met in person?  If you don't get it, it's OK.  But if you get it- you get me.  It can happen.  And typically a lot faster than it can take to make a friend like that the old fashioned way- you know, in person.  Because you cut through the pleasantries online.  It's nice.  Well, I think it's nice.  I hate small talk.  Of course, there are 100 reasons why it can go South.  People make quick, reaction-based decisions online.  We can toss people out too soon.  I don't think I like you?  Click- you're out of my life.  And, we are masters of what people see of us online- if we aren't careful to be transparent and honest, we can edit our online lives to our liking- and it can really mislead people.

That's why the Internet takes me back to Wolfe's short story.  That's why I don't have that many good online friends.  But some people- you just click.  And you really enjoy the friendship, you really encourage and inspire one another- you really hold one another up in the funny or the awful things that happen in your lives.  Every bit as valuable as your close friends in your own city- and you never could have met without the Internet.  It can be miraculous.

It happened to Julia Child and Avis DeVoto, it has happened to me.  It happens.

I've had the chance to meet a few people in person that I'd known and met online, and it's always been fantastic.  We've always ended up closer because of it.  Whew. So, I'm a big believer in the blessing of authentic, online friendships- because they are just that- friendships.

So- as long as you're intentional about being open, real, and honest about your life in your online relationships and in the relationships you have with the people around you, and as long as you are cultivating rich relationships in "real life", in addition to meeting some wonderful people across the country, then no worries.  I bet you'd absolutely love those online friends in real life.  You're just enjoying a new way of forming authentic human connection.