8:20.

This morning I woke up,
on this morning halfway through our
Spring Break,
to find snow everywhere outside.
Not surprising, since it's been so cold
for days now.
Last weekend I actually had to promise
our African friends that it would eventually get
hot and they would eventually get to go outside in
flip flops.

Then, though my morning started
quiet and full of coffee as usual,
things got a little rocky.

Well, see, Hudson's Pull Up was on funny,
so it leaked overnight, and I needed to wash his bedding.
And then someone woke up early with quite a bit
of business to take care of in the bathroom,
leading to the use of way too much toilet paper.
Then, of course, the next riser used the same bathroom,
and seeing that the toilet would not flush, proceeded to do
the only logical thing- flush it over and over and over,
causing a disgusting overflow, which was then brought to my attention
at once.

The cat followed me around as I cleaned and disinfected,
concerned because I did not clean out her litter box
immediately at breakfast, which she, well,
demands that I do, or else I'll hear about it
to no end.

The dogs, too, constantly whined at me as I worked,
dying to get out of their kennel for a much-needed
trip to the backyard and then breakfast.

I threw out the last of the paper towels, about to
wash my hands when I noticed our kitchen
trash can was overflowing with sticky banana peels
and all kinds of other things.
So I postponed the hand-cleaning and took that out too.

All this by 8:20 AM.

The rest of the day has been generally pleasant and productive.
It's been full of little obligations, and other work to do,
and lots of tea and coffee and a really good orange
and conversations with people in Africa, and
the girls called their Grandma and they sounded adorable,
and there was lots of reading to my kids and a few funny things
that made them laugh at me out loud (in a good way).

But that first bit of the day, I admit, had me worried.

And because I hate to post without a picture, if I can help it....

I pulled this shot out of my bag of tricks for my HS class today. I thought it was nice.  I think I've blogged it before.  I don't care.  Peace out.

Check this out.

My friend Micah Kephart came to Sioux Falls last week to share the vision of Poetice with The Ransom.  It was incredible to formally introduce our greater church family to something we've grown to care about so much.  You can listen to the 3.28.2011 Podcast here. 

And to expand on the topic of righteousness and justice, I'd highly recommend reading this book.

Want to see more from Zambia?


Hopefest 2010 Lusaka, Zambia from Poetice on Vimeo.


And for more on the 365 Campaign...


365 Campaign Promo from Poetice on Vimeo.

Invited.

To the best of human ability to make plans, Jim and I plan to be in Zambia at some point this year.

We could have gone in April, and almost did- but the dates of the trip fell directly over a week that we absolutely can't be away.  So, the decision was easy to discern.  The plan is to go later.

For about a month (since we decided not to go) people have asked me if I'm sad I'm not going, etc.  That's sort of a hard thing to answer.

I feel an incredible burden for Africa.  But, like I tried (and I feel, failed) to articulate fully here, a burden for orphans, poverty, and exploited people that used to leave me feeling helpless, and led me to guilt with almost no productivity, now has been converted to a steady burn, one that leaves Africa always on my heart, always in my thoughts.  And it fuels a greater clarity and burden for my own country, everything connected. It's really sort of blown my mind (and my heart).  And any deeply-hidden concept that Africa "needs" America more than America needs Africa-  God is slowly demolishing those places in my heart.  I'm trying not to fight it.

What this burden does not do, though, is leave me feeling like there's nothing I can do.  Essentially, caring this much about these things has made life messier, grander, and richer- but it doesn't leave me overwhelmed to the point that I actually do nothing.

All that to say- the burden is light.  I don't feel helpless anymore.

Going isn't the one way you "do" something in a situation like this.  The going is very humbling- you can't measure how much "good" you're doing by your works, or by what you bring and leave behind- going with just yourself to bring, allowing God to do the accomplishing through you and in you is a complicated, immeasurable, messy thing.

The doing happens more in my everyday- in all the myriad ways life has gotten shaken up for me, and my family, thanks to this little trip I took to "go and see".  From the top down my choices are weighed by things I can't ignore anymore. 

Since I've returned, God has thrown all kinds of "doing" into my family's lap.  Africa is always right there in our conversations, and my kids talk about it all the time.  It affects how we live our life, in lots of ways.

Before I even left for Zambia, God made a good arrangement for when I got back.  Within a week or so of returning, we were introduced to our huge, wonderful refugee family from Chad.  (And now, we've gained another family of friends from Darfur.)  Our families run and play and talk and jumble together, all of us learning from one another.  It's wonderful. It's good for 100 reasons, but, I'll just say it- God knew it was the perfect way to blend Africa right in to my family's life- rather than culture shock in coming back, I was immediately experiencing a blending of the 2 together- and my family has been fully involved.  It was perfect timing.  So, Africa really isn't that "far" away for us.  It's right here in Sioux Falls. 

Another big part of doing is sharing my own story here, with all of you, whoever you are out there.  There were many times thinking about my experience in Africa, and how to communicate it, seemed exhausting to me.  And, well, it's also quite vulnerable.  But writing is good for me, so I did it anyway.  That invites other people into the story.  And that can open a door for them to go and see too.  If writing about all of this in my imperfect way accomplishes anything, I hope it's bringing the Author glory, and opening doors for many more people to be included and wrecked for something far greater than what we've been settling for.

So it's not just about going.  I would love to hop on a jet plane and be back in Zambia, working with the people I've grown to love so much.  I am sold. 

I can't always go.  But I can do whatever it is that's put before me- and I can invite other people in.  That's the point, right?  It is, I suppose, not about me anyway.

To all of my friends in Africa reading this- When I was with you, my own family across the ocean was always on my heart.  Now that I'm back here with them, you are always on my heart.  I pray for you throughout the day, you are always on my mind, and I won't stop inviting people in to the story God is writing in your lives.  It's brought me so much joy to be a small part of it.  Thank you for welcoming me in.

...And Everything Nice

Baking solo for the very. first. time.

Spring Break.

Is this turning into a food blog, or what?  I just don't want to post without a picture.  We made these today.  They were awesome.  I didn't have a decorating tip small enough to do the top icing swirls justice- but the filling was perfect. 

I wanted to finish a blog up quick, before I take a week off for Spring Break.  Reading, free time, walks outside, play doh, all of it.  Bring it on.

I've got three thick biographies to read this month before they go back to the library.  I'm getting started on one directly after I hit publish.  Here's what I've read in the last few weeks:

Phantastes, by George MacDonald


Looking for God in Harry Potter, by John Granger

Spoken from the Heart, by Laura Bush

Love Wins, by Rob Bell

The Tales of Beedle the Bard, by J.K. Rowling

Fridays.

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome. -Anne Bradstreet

Spring has returned. The Earth is like a child that knows poems. -Rainer Maria Rilke

Winters here are so long.  When Spring finally gets here, it's electric.  Every part of life is perked up, and we can see possibility and beauty everywhere- even though the world is still brown and wet and gray.

Winter has never failed to bring Spring, but it's so hard for that memory to be enough when you've been trapped indoors for months, and your skin can freeze just with a trip to the mail box.  And now, the weather is a little warmer- but that's all it takes.  The snow is retreating, the air smells amazing and we know green things are coming.  I'm checking outside our door every day.

Our climate has become hospitable to birds again, and they've started returning.  And singing. And that means our cats are on alert, crouched at the sunny windows, Penny cackling at the sight and sound of all those new, tasty birds just on the other side of the glass.

I can even have the windows open, sometimes.

That's all.  I just wanted to say it.  I'm so happy the season is turning.



Following a sort of new tradition, we had dessert for lunch today, since it's Friday.  According to the new tradition I accidentally started, I think about how it's Friday on a Friday mid-morning, and how it would be fun to make something crazy and special for lunch.  I then decide what to make, limited to what I have on hand in my kitchen at the time.  Like gingerbread.

Today it was berry shortcakes.  They were amazing. Jim, we saved some for you.  Well, we didn't save you any whipped cream, but, I'll make you some more.  It's better fresh anyway.  Nothing but the best for you.

Sort of Funny.

So a couple of weeks ago I went to Hy Vee with Grace.  I just needed a couple of things.  So, we stopped at Starbucks first, I traded an empty bag for free coffee, she got a kids' hot chocolate, and we set out to get our stuff. 

They didn't have one thing I needed, and then I picked up some Agave.  Then since we were having a movie night that night, I let Grace pick out some stuff to surprise everyone when we got home. 

So, we get to the check out line, and our purchases were....

Agave. Organic, lovely sugar alternative for all kinds of things.

And this stuff....

Which, I thought, was sort of funny.

Can You Help?

Hey.  You remember when I blogged about the Music Academy in Zambia?  It's a real place, full of real people, and it is incredible.  I've been there.  It was one of the most hopeful things I have ever experienced.  To read more about it, follow this link.  And watch this.



See all those instruments?  And sheet music?  Do you know where they came from?

People like me and you.  That's how they got there.  Instruments and music and creativity in the hands of orphans, and you can make it grow.

I walked through a sea of children with nothing to do, many can't go to school, and life, well, looks directionless.  I have seen the power of what is happening at the Academy and it altered me forever.  I'm having a hard time expressing it here.

And the local people who give their lives and their time and their hearts to these orphans every day- these are the celebrities in my eyes.  They are living lives of beautiful music, and I care so deeply for them, and believe so fully in their work that they are on my heart throughout the day.  Every single day.  I care so much about seeing this ministry thrive.

If you want to help, and you live in the Sioux Falls area, you can donate your used (in great condition) instruments (clarinet in the basement, anyone?) to The Ransom Church's ZIP Drive.  You can also donate funds, sheet music, reeds, valve oil, all that music-related stuff as well.  FOLLOW THIS LINK, and the link within it for more information.  We're collecting through the end of March.  Contact me, or Phil Wiseman for more information.

If you don't live here, you can still donate to Poetice and the Zambia Instrument Project, or organize a ZIP Drive of your own. Watch this.




See this trumpet?

My neighbor Kayla had it in her house, hasn't used it since high school.  She dropped it off at my house one day, we took it to Africa, Phil (who is kind of a big deal on the trumpet) used it to encourage, instruct, and inspire orphans with music, then we left it with the Academy, and now it's being used there. 

It's pretty much that simple.

A New Day

So I went to Africa with a bunch of people, and 2 of them were my friends Brandon and Phil.

It was sort of a big event in our lives, maybe I should blog about it sometime.

Phil is a musician, so when he was processing through the experience, it was natural for him to write a song about it.  I actually watched him write it on a plane.  Right next to me.  In a Moleskine journal I gave him, with a pencil, I, also, sacrificially gave him. 

Because of this, I feel it's logical that this is my song too.

We've been singing this song at The Ransom for a while, and now Phil recorded it- with Brandon's help on the drums, and Whitney's help on vocals, and with lots of other people's help.  Because it's not easy to do things like this on your own.

Brandon and Phil are going back to Zambia in a few weeks.  They've made this song available for all of us to buy- and they're splitting the funds to buffer the cost of their trip ($3300 each).

It's not cheap to go to Africa, and I believe it's extremely important that they go.  So I want to help them.

Watch this, follow the links, get a great song, and be a part of what Poetice is doing in Africa too.  It's amazing how fast this adds up.

Hello?

I bought this phone at a flea market last weekend. 

A few days later, as we walked by the desk I told Jim how much I loved it, and that it makes me think that C.S. Lewis could call me on this phone at any minute, and when he does, I'll know him so well I won't mess with calling him Mr. Lewis- I'll just call him Jack.

See, it came out of my mouth before I'd thought about whether or not it should.

And clearly, I shouldn't say such things.  Who says things like that?  And who wants a mother that says things like that?  Even I thought it sounded crazy when I said it out loud. 

Jim did the right thing- grinned and gave me a funny look- and moved on.

A C.S. Lewis phone, an FDR radio, Louisa May Alcott when I eat an orange, Abigail Adams when my kids are sick, Harriet Beecher Stowe when my kids are time-consuming, Bernice bobbing her hair when I make crazy decisions, Isobel Kuhn when I use inappropriate hyperbole, Julia Child when I'm taking risks and trying something new, Harry and Dumbledore when I feel like God isn't there, and on. 

History and fiction- that's how I make associations in the world.  I know it's a little weird.

With Sorrow for Love

"It sounded like a welcome already overshadowed with the coming farewell.  As in all sweetest music, a tinge of sadness was in every note.  Nor do we know how much of the pleasures even of life we owe to the intermingled sorrows.  Joy cannot unfold the deepest truths, although deepest truth must be deepest joy.  Cometh white-robed Sorrow, stooping and wan, and flingeth wide the doors she may not enter.  Almost we linger with Sorrow for very love."  - George MacDonald, from Phantastes       

So Dorky it's Cool

Reading Harry Potter was an incredible experience.  I had no idea at the beginning that these books would be so rich, and so deep.  They are classics, in every sense of the word, and Harry Potter's influence over so many millions of readers is no accident. 

Many will read the series and absolutely love the books, be swept up in the story, and have no idea how to explain "why".  They're just "so good".  But- why?

It's like a flower.  Everyone loves flowers, admires them for their beauty.  But once you study the intricate way a flower came from a seed, or bulb, in the dirt, all the changes it goes through, to become a flower, and all that needs to happen so there can be more flowers- you never look at a flower the same way again- and it's beauty in your eye increases.

This is how I feel about good books- it's how I feel about Mr. Potter and the genius of J.K. Rowling's creation.  It. is. incredible.  On the surface, it's a great story.  But digging deeper- there is so much to discover.

When I read the books, the brilliance of the storytelling drew me in and it was as if I was right there- I could see it all, and the characters became real to me.  And throughout the narrative, not only do we fall in love, but we join the story, with these brave souls to the finish-  and those with eyes to see will find a deep treasure of  literary excellence.  These books are just a professor's dream-  and we are entertained and involved from start to finish.  As C.S. Lewis says, we're instructed- and delighted.

I am planning to read through the series again, this summer*.  I will start sometime in May, reading book by book, taking notes, digging in deep to the story and the devices that make it brilliant.  If you have read the series at least once, and would like to join me, I'd love to start a group to last through the seventh book, by the end of August.  Just let me know.  We'll read a book on our own, taking notes, then come together for beverages and some deeper discussion questions etc, compiled from a couple of great books I've found for the serious re-reader.  It's so dorky it's cool.

One book I found, I was able to get from the library, and I wanted to recommend it to anyone out there that has read the books and just wants an accessible introduction into the themes, deep meaning, and literary devices used to craft the story- and it also answers many questions parents may have if their children are reading (or thinking of reading the books).  For instance, it does a great job of explaining the difference between Invocational Magic (sorcery, calling up spirits) and Incantational Magic (the kind we find in fairy tales, Narnia, Lord of the Rings- and Harry Potter).  It also dives in to how this great story is a mirror of  The Great Story, of which we are all a part, and have an essential role to play. You can read more about it here.

I thought it was a very well-informed, balanced book. I would caution though- it's spoiler-rich.  I'd highly recommend reading the books first, before diving in, but, that's me. 

*Again, if discussion of epic literature, literary alchemy, the endless literary doppelgangers, threshold characters, the qualities and requirements of classic literature, historic, religious, relational, literary and political references, cycles of death and rebirth on small and large scales, round vs. flat characters, seeking and finding identity, symbols, allusions, the hinting and uncovering of unseen things, the significance of names, edifying themes of deliverance, temperance, virtue, honor etc. is your thing- Then join me this summer.  We can make ourselves nerdy t-shirts and everything.

Goodness.

Last Friday, after school, I surprised my kids with warm gingerbread for lunch, topped with fresh whipped cream (which Grace says is way better than whipped cream from a store), and we joined it with clementines, and french vanilla steamers with extra foam- and of course, more whipped cream on top.

I love how very, very simple things can fill an ordinary day with extra goodness.  It doesn't take much, it keeps you loving to be in your home and with the people in it, it keeps life simple, and you spend less money- and I think these are the things that stay with us for good.

While they ate, I read another 2 chapters of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, which we've been reading through at lunch. 

To be honest, I hate that book.  I generally can't stand nonsensical literature. 

How is a raven like a writing desk?  I have no idea- but my children love it.

But there it is- a simple lunch, a simple book.  But so much goodness.


Sometimes people ask me for book ideas- books they can read with their children.  


Here's my short list (for elementary-aged children):

Peter Pan (J.M. Barrie)
The Wind in the Willows (Kenneth Grahame)
The Little Princess (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
The Tales of Winnie the Pooh (A.A. Milne)
Anything by Beatrix Potter
The Anne Series (L.M. Montgomery)
Little Women etc. (Louisa May Alcott)
Kidnapped (Robert Louis Stevenson)
Treasure Island (Robert Louis Stevenson)
Heidi (Johanna Spyri)
Because of Winn Dixie (Kate DiCamillo)
Black Beauty (Anna Sewell)
Sarah, Plain and Tall (Patricia MacLachlan)
The Little House Series (Laura Ingalls Wilder)
Charlotte's Web (E.B. White)
Stuart Little (E.B. White)
The Trumpet of the Swan (E.B. White)
The Light Princess- and the scores of other fairy tales written by George MacDonald
The Shiloh Trilogy (Phyllis Reynolds Naylor)
Ballet Shoes (Noel Streatfeild)
The Pilgrim's Progress (John Bunyan)
Aesop's Fables
The Narnia Series (C.S. Lewis)
Where the Red Fern Grows (Wilson Rawls)

And as for poetry- try some Stevenson, or a compilation, like:
A Child's Garden of Verses (Robert Louis Stevenson)
The Oxford Illustrated Book of American Children's Poems

My kids have also liked poems from William Blake, Robert Frost, Emily Dickinson, etc. 

Also, I'd recommend the book Everyday Graces, by Karen Santorum.  It's a great compilation of stories and poetry centered around topics and life lessons (manners, friendship, death, etc).

Just remember there's room for all kinds of books, not just the classics as listed here.  It's amazing the fun, great stuff we find at the library, either books to read, or books that inspire creativity, non-fiction books about science, animals, history, "just fun" stuff, etc.  (Well, some library books are just terrible, but that's why we have brains and free wills for discernment.)  Enjoy.

365.

Please Watch This.


365 Campaign Promo from Poetice on Vimeo.

Sweet.

Speaking of purchases at Target, the girls saw this Nordicware pan (It was about $12) and bought it with their allowance money.

With your dark chocolate cake recipe of choice, and some quick buttercream vanilla frosting, you get this...

More Aging.

Grace is getting really old.  Patie is doing lots of "old" things just like Grace is, but, she still has a rounded baby sweetness about her.  Grace, however, just a year and a half ahead, is just looking very, very old- all tall and proper- and she tries so hard to be mature, too.  She reminds me so much of Meg in Little Women-  and so it's fitting that Meg's pet name, and Grace's middle name (Daisy), are the same.

A few weeks ago our coffee maker started acting wonky, not staying on to brew, etc., so we had to replace it.  It was great, and it brewed pre-dawn coffee for us faithfully for 4 years.  The time has flown by.  It seems like only yesterday I was pulling that beautiful Cuisinart machine out of it's box.

We replaced it with this one- and I have to say- having the thermal carafe turns out to be a really, really good thing.  I was always doubtful as to it's necessity, but now that we've seen the light, we'll never turn back.

We left Target, and as we drove away I told Grace that if this coffee maker lasts as long as our old one, she'll be almost twelve before we replace it. 

This amazed her.  And me.

Aging.

Bacon, you are getting older.  That's just a fact.  But, well, you're acting older this year..

Your brother from another mother Bebo is still kicking it just fine, at the exact same 7 years of life as you, because he's not a pug.  And your little brother Pippen, well, he gets you going every once in a while, but, there's no way you can keep up with that kind of energy.

You're the kind of dog who absolutely loves to rock a Snuggie... but your punk brothers are always teasing you about it when you wear it, trying to rip it off for fun.  Have you heard the story about Joseph and his amazing technicolor dreamcoat?  They're just jealous baby.

The hairs on your Velvet Elvis muzzle are turning all white. Your hearing is going, and is getting more selective than ever.  There was a time that the sound of one singular Cheerio hitting the kitchen tile would send you scrambling from any corner or level of the house.  Now we have to walk up to you and make emphatic hand gestures when it's time to go outside, or you don't hear our call.  And you hate getting up when you're comfortable.  Even if it's been hours since you've been out.

But you are still a remarkably sweet, simple boy.  You're still unbelievably clumsy.  Absolutely a bull in a china shop wherever you go- good thing you love to sleep so much.  You're just all about companionship and love, and treats.  Your warm squishy body and your deep pug snores are still a great comfort to me.  I always hated that you like to be nestled under my arm in that certain way you love, but then last year Temple Grandin informed me that you love to be squeezed because it makes you feel secure and relaxed in a sometimes harsh world- and so now I comply much more often.  And I don't mind as much when you fight to wedge yourself between us in bed. 

You're slowing down, but all good things that make you you are still 100% there. 

And just look at that mug...

What I've Been Reading...

The Scandal of the Evangelical Mind, by Mark A. Noll
I'm not quite finished with this one- but it's been fantastic.


Wuthering Heights, by Emily Bronte
Absolutely had to drag myself through this one.  I see that there is one redeeming quality in those two awful people, and it's their love for one another, and that should be beautiful, but, that didn't cut it for me.  Peace out, Wuthering Heights.  Thankfully you were a mere $.95 for Kindle.


The Prodigal God, by Timothy Keller
I'm reading this again with someone else- is it possible?  It's even better the second time around.


Harry Potter, Books 1-7, by J.K. Rowling
"A children's story that can only be enjoyed by children is not a good children's story in the slightest." - C.S. Lewis

Phenomenal.  These will remain one of the most excellent series of fiction books I will ever read.  I can't believe it took me so long to think of reading them (and read them I did, in just under 2 weeks).  Jim is following me, a book and a half behind.  For several nights, we sat together in bed, or in the living room with chairs shoved together, totally engrossed in the world of Harry Potter- it reminded me fresh what it is to be a kid again, all wrapped up in an amazing story (and yet it is so very good for adults to read), and what a special thing it is to be married to my best friend, enjoying simple things like this together.

The Diary of an Old Soul, by George MacDonald
I haven't read anything of MacDonald's for a couple of years.  I decided, rather than one of his novels, to just go back to some poetry.

Fiction.

Jim has set a pretty specific routine with our kids at night over the years.  Bedtime has not ever really been my territory.  After everyone's made every preparation for bed, there's Bible reading and discussing, praying, singing, silly song singing, and then there's time for a chapter or two of some good fiction.  They've read books like Anne of Green Gables, or Uncle Tom's Cabin (Jim retold that one, I think)- honestly I don't know much of what they've read together, I'm so far removed from it.  But now they're somewhere in the middle of Narnia.

When I was young, I absolutely devoured fiction books.  I was always reading something.  As I grew up, particularly once I got to college, I completely lost my habit of fiction, apart from the scores of books I was required to read (this is of course what happens when literature becomes your major course of study), and when I did read of my own free will, it was non fiction.  Biographies, and thinking books.  These are valuable too, but even then, I sort of mourned my loss of love for the novel.

Now here I am, a full-out adult, a mother who still remembers being a child- mostly because my children keep reminding me- and the circle has come around.  I find myself absolutely in love with fiction once again, and I make it a practice to fit it in between all the other kinds of things I read.  Between what I read to my children, and what I read for myself, fiction is absolutely back in my life, and I doubt it will ever leave.

Perhaps it's because, as I grow older, I see the necessity of it.

For Real, We're Fine.

I know.  I haven't posted in a couple of weeks.  Honestly, my family keeps me occupied (not complaining), and I've been reading a ton, and I've been out with friends a lot, and I've had absolutely no desire to see my computer screen in weeks.  I've never "enjoyed" being at the computer, but it is a means to dozens of good ends, so usually, I deal.  But lately, I just really, really, really have no desire to blog, or answer emails (sorry to everyone who's waited so long to get a reply)- I've been happily avoiding the WWW for the most part.

I don't have a particular reason, though it is good to take a little shabbat now and then from the things we do daily in life, just to see if you're still you without it (or if you're a better you without it).  Will the world come crashing down if I don't email you right back?  And will my whole blog of memories collapse down on top of itself if I don't post something for a while?  No.  And I'm glad I know that.

Still, blogging is a discipline I don't want to neglect for too long. 

I'm sure regular posts of nothing too important will resume sometime soon.  Thanks to everyone who's noticed I was MIA.