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Monday, August 10, 2009

First.

Last Friday night, I returned home from a long photo shoot to a quiet house. Jim and the kids were away for the weekend, visiting grandparents and going to the fair.

That's when I found that our tiny kitten, Bokeh, had accidentally fallen, and injured herself in a way that could only end one way. But she was still very much alive.

I knew what would happen, and I was all alone, left to just hold her and hope it would end soon.

When I couldn't do it anymore, I handed her to Bebo, and he cleaned her head to toe, loved on her, snuggled her, and curled himself around his tiny baby in a quiet corner, away from the rest of us. He knew what would happen, and he tenderly loved her until the end. My heart broke seeing that tender affection between creatures.

And my heart broke for my kids' hearts, especially Patience, who rescued Bokeh and was to Bokeh what Fern was to Wilbur. And I didn't want her to think the hours she spent holding and nuzzling her weakling back to health were in vain. I didn't want any of my children to know this most important lesson that we all must face for the first time, at some time.

And so my children have had their first taste of death and loss.

7 comments:

Sgt and Mrs Hub said...

Oh, I am so sorry. Deeply sorry. What a terribly hard thing for your heart and your children's hearts to go through.

We have the eternally living beta fish named "george." A couple of times when people has fish-sat him for us he has died. But, we just keep buying a new one that looks like him because I am not ready for that conversation with my kids.

Thinking of Patience today....

-Andrea

Anne Elizabeth said...

I am so sorry! My heart feels for all your kids especially patience! I rescued my first kitty when I was 7 and she died shortly afterwards. I will never forget that.

Trench Mommy said...

Oh...I'm so sorry. Know all too well what that is like. I'm sorry for you to have had to see the poor little thing like that, too. I hope that this will be a time when the kids will look back and remember the fun of the first before this first.

Sarah in the Middle said...

I'm sorry Megan - that's a hard thing to watch no matter how old you are. And having to walk a little heart through it is even harder.

Amy said...

I'm so sorry.
Hope your hearts heal quickly.(as possible)

Aimee said...

How heartbreaking... oh, I long for the day there is no more death, or tears, or pain...

Tammy said...

Learning and accepting death is not easy at any age, but the first time is always the hardest. I'll be praying for you and your girls.