Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Loaves and Fishes

I am unsure of whether or not I've said enough- enough about the One that I know has helped me grow in any area I've made a gain. The One who gives me much grace daily as I struggle and sin and scrape to figure out how to live this life. The One who is my great joy and peace and hope and strength and comfort as I navigate these crazy days of mine, of ours. The One who is my inspiration and wisdom and light and new thing. Every day.

Have I mentioned enough, how imperfect I am? I wouldn't want to glory in my own self-loathing, but I do want to make a point, that reflecting on my own imperfections would point me and others to the One who is perfection.

Have I mentioned enough, that Jesus is my life? Have I mentioned enough that I can hardly recognize the person I was before He came and took me over? Have I mentioned enough that any gains I've made in this life, any growth of my heart, my soul, my mind or any possible skills I have, are all attributed to the One who is constantly at work in me? And I am dearly in need of that work, I promise.

If I have made gains in how we spend or save our money, it has been through years of need that have born creativity in it's management. If I have made gains in mothering, it is through years of struggle and crying out for wisdom that have born the answers to those prayers- and I hope for much more wisdom to come. No one knows my need for mother-wisdom more than my children, I promise. If I have made gains in the ways that I order this house, it is through years of asking the Lord to show me how to order my days aright.

This summer marks a decade. A decade from the moment I realized how helpless I was, and I handed my life over to the One who fed thousands with just a handful of loaves and fishes.

If I share the moments of our every days with you, but never share my gratitude for the One who is at the center of them, I have missed the mark. If I haven't said it enough, I will say it now, and try to communicate this truth more often. God isn't just a nice thought, He isn't just the One I run to in trouble, He isn't just the thing that I have invented to attempt to create a sense of meaning out of death or pain or trouble. Jesus Christ is my everything, and any good thing in me is Him alone.


d.a.r. said...

Wow, this was a great way to start my morning, thank you so much for posting this!! I'm on a bit of a faith journey myself and have spent a lot of time pondering the things you've written about.

I loved this, thank you!

anne said...

amen! What a great thing to read just before this weekend.
Thanks Megan.
love ya.

Anne Elizabeth said...

Amen! Definitely good for me to read on THIS morning!

stacey said...

That just gave me the chills~ that was such a BEAUTIFUL post!!!!!


Unknown said...

Is it possible to EVER say it enough?

Amy said...

Thank you. This made my day.

Too often, I forget to save enough. Or even think enough.

He is my everything too. Thank you for reminding me today.

Annika said...

Thank you. A great reminder to me to speak boldly about the true joy I have found in Him. Can I put you on my blog roll?

Kimberly said...

Beautifully said, Megan. What more to say, than Amen!

Grammy Staffy said...

Amen to your beautiful post. You uplift me. Thank you. God is certainly blessing my life through meeting dear people like you in my newly found blog world.

Thank you once again

Ris said...

amen! What a wonderful decade its been for you! He's the one that I thank daily for the blessings in my life. I would have nothing if it were not for Jesus blessing me over and over. I thank and praise Him for the health and safety of my family and loved ones. Every day is right! What an AMAZING blessing that the Lord allows us to have a personal relationship with Him. Brings tears just thinking of it.

A Crafty Mom said...

That is so beautiful, Megan.

Eva said...

Awww. I really liked this post. It's great for you give glory to God for all He's done in your life...that's it's been HIM all along.
Hope you have fun at your conference...wait, I KNOW you'll have fun. Say hi to April for me.