Friday, April 25, 2008

Just a Little...

Sad. That's how I feel tonight. I got a call yesterday from my "That" Friend from Rapid City, who has actually moved as well, many states away. We talked for well over an hour (in two installments with dinner in between) about all things between Biblical submission, baby gates, and our never-ending quest to achieve "Pottery Barn Utopia" in our homes (she is much farther than me). It was, as always, unbelievably refreshing to hear from her, just as it is to talk with any one of my "That Friends" from all the places I've been. You see, I've always had one- sometimes just one, sometimes a small tight group, but they've always been there. By faith, I'm believing there is one waiting for me here, but so far she's not surfaced. None of those sweet sisters has ever been replaced, and has remained a core part of my life. But folks, right now I'm just plain lonely. I was surprised thus far to see an absence of the "blue period" that always comes just after a move, but I thought too soon, and this week it's hit me suddenly and hard. I'm sure the joy of feeling understood and loved and missed I felt after our phone call triggered my current mood- because as nice as it was, it reminded me of what I don't have here. I know this last month has been a bit of a marathon, but in the past 2 weeks I've felt space in my schedule, in my days. There's been some time to breathe, to reflect. Our life and home are as settled as they can be right now. My home/home school routines/cleaning routines/library story time days/dates with hubs/time for me- it's all set and going really, really well. So now, what's missing? Oh, yes. Friends.

Tonight I asked Jim if it would be OK if I took a night off and locked myself in our room until after the kids went to bed. I had every reason to believe he'd be fine with it, but, you know, it's nice to ask. I caught up on emails, other blogs, did other quiet things, marinated myself worship music and allowed my mood to take it's course. I don't actually feel better yet, but, I know I will. My date tonight with my best friend will no doubt be a boon, but, goodness, I just need a girl friend too. "Just one is OK right now, God, but hey, more than that is good too." Oh, and can I just say how nice it is that even when most things in our life changed, my blog is the same? And, how nice it is that blog-friends are still all there every day? Hey, it may sound lame to some of you, but I know some of you will know just what I mean! Have a great weekend everyone, I'm sure mine's looking up. Date night calls... Oh, and by the way, as I've typed this, Jim has been cleaning up the kitchen, after a night of games, snow shakes (that's right- it SNOWED nasty snow here today, after an 80 degree day two days ago) and general crazy fun with our little troop of kids and dogs. That is one great guy.


Anonymous said...

Hey Megan! I am sorry to hear that you are down in the dumps:( Know that I miss you a lot. I was also going to tell you that I am hoping to come to Sioux Falls May 17th & 18th for my cousins graduation reception & would love to see you if you are free. Know that I think of you often and wish you were around here!

Love you lots!

PS I am still planning on moving to Sioux Falls sometime this summer so we will have to hang out more if you want!

kelly said...

I just replied to you over at my blog that we are going to be in SF the weekend of the 17th, but it looks like you may have other company too ;-D

Anyway, I totally get what you're saying. We've moved 7 times in 7 years of marriage (and I moved almost 30 times before that). I know you know this, but it bears repeating--it does take time, time, and more time. I remember after Hannah was born just praying so much for some "mom friends". It really did take about a year until those friendships were established, but I treasured them more because they were long-awaited.

And here are some cyber-hugs while you wait


Ris said...

I am so sorry you are feeling sad! I hope that you meet a fabulous new friend (or more) soon. Maybe through church, once you are more settled/involved. I know what you mean though...I have fabulous friends, but most of them either don't have kids or work during the day, so I don't have mommy friends to play with on weekdays. Would be really nice to meet some!

Unknown said...

I hope your weekend went better. I know what you are going through, and I didn't even move. I found my friendships went through a huge transition when I became a sahm and quit working. I have to echo Megan, it does take time.

Until then, you can IM me on MSN at jessicadawn75...anytime!

I'm glad Jim afforded you time to yourself!

And I have to laugh at the PBUtopia! I too want that, but no matter how many times I wave the catalogue around my house, it never seems to materialize! BTW, I think your house is too too fabu!

Andrea@Sgt and Mrs Hub said...

Oh, I am right there with you. I know just how it is... and it's tough. I haven't gotten to the "blues" part yet, but I know they are sure to come. I was just thinking yesterday how when life slows down and I have time to think... ugg. It's going to potentially be rough. Maybe that's why I am being such a crazy woman with the whole friend thing :)

Funny that you mentioned the blog friend thing. Daniel said to me a few weeks before we moved - that at least my blog with still be the same and I will have all my friends from that. It was comforting in a sense. But I NEED girlfriends who will sit at my kitchen table with me, or change my babies diaper when I'm doing something else, someone to laugh with- in person.

Anyways, all that to say - I get it. Here's hoping those women "surface" for you - and QUICK!!


Lisa said...

Moving is tough. I agree...every time we go somewhere new I always end up with some friends that I can't imagine life without, but meeting them is sometimes difficult. It took me a long time during this last move. I now have some wonderful, genuine friends, but it was a while. That lonely feeling just stinks!!!

PS - I too am trying to get to Pottery Barn utopia.....I don't know if it's possible on my budget!!!