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Thursday, January 14, 2010

Wanted

Samantha Krieger posted this video yesterday, watch it if you can- it's an incredible project.

But it struck a chord that my heart plays often.

I was 20 years old, a senior in college, married for four months. I was absolutely certain I was about 6 weeks pregnant, but due to my clinic's policies, I needed to have a test done in-clinic to be sure, and to book with an OBGYN.
I remember everything about the visit very vividly. It was sunny outside. I was wearing a blue South Dakota State University sweatshirt. It was late in the afternoon. There were all kinds of people in the waiting room, all ages. I wondered what they were there for. The nurse was very friendly, both she and the doctor were middle-aged. I know I looked young, because I was.

I needed to wait in an exam room for the results. When I heard a knock on the door, both the nurse and doctor came in, silently, with very somber expressions. I was at once very worried. I had taken a blood test- what did they find? Until this point, I had just expected a cut-and-dry outcome- a, "Yep, you're right on, like you already knew, you're pregnant. Here's your card for your next appointment." And I'd be out of there. They looked so serious, it caught me off guard.
My concerned doctor sat down next to me, looked me right in the eye, and softly said, "Your test result was positive. There is a pregnancy."

The nurse was just silent in the background, with an, "Oh, honey" look on her face.

My first reaction was relief, and a, "Great! I was absolutely sure I was- can't wait to tell my husband it's "official".

I can. not. forget. what happened next. The doctor, truly a great man I think- his face shifted instantly to a look of total surprise/confusion.

"Well [uncomfortably long pause], if you want them, kids are great!"

And the rest of our conversation was short, sweet, and awkward. And then I was on my way.

This just cored me. Because I knew, if I didn't want this, I could end it. I would have immediately been put in contact with Planned Parenthood in Sioux Falls, a clinic I now drive by on a regular basis. My appointment would have been swiftly and discreetly made, and no one would have asked questions. I wouldn't have even had to tell Jim about this pregnancy. I could have told him our suspicions were mistaken, there was no baby. He didn't even have to know.
Because I wanted it, I was led to the appointment desk, where I filled out more paperwork, made my first official appointment with my new OBGYN, and was given a neat tote bag full of coupons, magazines and free stuff, as well as tons of information on how to take care of myself now that I was also caring for a baby- how to eat, how to exercise, what to drink, what not to drink, what medicines I could take, and what I absolutely couldn't, how to pick baby names, how to start planning for a nursery, which vitamins I needed to go buy right now. Because now it was all about protecting that baby and helping it thrive.
Because now that I had made it clear that I wanted it, it wasn't a pregnancy. Now it was a baby.

It was one of the most disturbing experiences of my life.

This is who I wanted...

10 comments:

anne said...

Oh Megan, I am in tears this morning.

This is one of those issues I am PASSIONATE about.

I fear for SO MANY young girls
getting mis-informed.
WHAT ABOUT ADOPTION?!
Why is this never discussed. THere are SO SO many out there who are longing for a child, who can't concieve one on their own.
About six years ago,I had a girlfriend who I worked with who became pregnant under some not so great circumstances and by the grace of God at that time I was a close friend she talked to and trusted.
I BEGGED AND PLEADED with her not to do it, knowing she would regret it... and she ended up NOT! {praise Jesus} and though it's been a hard road, I know today she is 100% glad she made that decision.

I read an article years ago written by a girl who had an abortion and it has really destroyed her life. That is never talked about. Girls who are not sure and then get talked into it at a clinic perhaps...what happens afterward?
I know that is not the case for all girls, but MANY I fear.

The whole "fetus" thing gets to me...UH, this "fetus" if not termitated WILL BE A HUMAN LIFE.
It's murder...and the people who are counseling these girls are for the most part idiotic. It's sad really.


I can't BELIEVE some of the things said;
"don't want to make a bond between the mom and baby"
"not a "baby" until birth"
says the nurse
"not until six or seven months" says the Dr.
GET YOUR "facts" straight.
"safer than having a baby"

OK. WOW. I am in tears. This is one subject that REALLY pulls on my heart strings too.

I'm posting a link to your post on my blog.

Thanks Megan.
LOVE you.

Megan O. said...

So true and the photo just brings tears to my eyes. Its weird because I was holding my baby yesterday and I had the same thought--I could have chosen for this little person to never have had life and it would have been perfectly legal. It just breaks my heart to think about how women are being lied to and convinced that there's no harm done and its their right not to carry out their pregnancy.

Are you aware of all that's at stake as far as tax-funded abortion with the new health care bill? It makes me so crazy to think we may soon have to contribute to this deception. Praying so hard against its passage.

d.a.r. said...

Amazing post, thank you for this today.

Anne Elizabeth said...

This post was amazing and gave me such chills!

Allison said...

Hey - I'm friends with Anne who linked your post on her blog. I have a friend/co-worker who is ~23 or so and found out she was pregnant about 5 weeks ago (making her about 6 weeks along). She went to student services for the confirmation, it came back positive, and the nurse behaved the EXACT same way. She asked if she should say she was sorry. My friend is unmarried, but in a committed relationship and they were kind of trying to get pregnant.

This past week she had a miscarriage.

While I do not know how she feels about abortion or anything like that, I know that she was happy about the life that was growing inside her, and now she has to deal with this.

I'm glad you, and she, and so many others, have chosen LIFE, life formed by the CREATOR of the universe for a purpose.

Josh Lloyd said...

Scary scary world we live in. Just freaky. What has it come to that we're offering murder as an every-day solution to help us get out of possible inconveniences? Just word it a different way, and make it sound innocent. I feel bad for the girls who are ignorant and don't know.

Tammy said...

Loved this.

American Mum said...

It's pretty shocking to hear what the employees said. but in response to Josh, I think it's more than just "inconveniences" that girls are dealing with. I'm in no way supporting abortion, but I can completely understand how scared and helpless enough a girl might feel to end up at the clinic. I don't think many get there lightheartedly.

Samantha said...

Megan,

All I can say is that I have chills right now. What a story and I can see how that resonated. I think you can really use this story, not just on your blog but to encourage others elsewhere.

I'll be praying God will give you the right places to share your story.

PS. Thanks for linking back over to my site. I kept seeing your blog in my dashboard and thought you were up to something :) I too, am so passionate about this issue (taught abstinence in the public school system when I was getting my Master's). We have to continue spreading the word and fighting for truth.

Samantha

Sarah in the Middle said...

When my mom thought she was pregnant with me, they went through the phone book and found a "free pregnancy test". They had the test done, and the somber nurse came in to the waiting area to tell them the bad news: it was positive. My mom let out a yell and my dad said "hallelujah!!". I don't think that nurse had ever had such a shock - everyone waiting just stared. They realized later that they were in an abortion clinic! That staff had probably never had such a response. But who knows what a light they were to the people there that day? Who knows what girl was undecided and their joy was an eye opener for her?