Thursday, January 20, 2011

1000 Everydays.

This is the 1000th post at Life Every Day.

I have seen it approaching.  It intimidated me.  I think it should be significant.  But staring the should-be-significant 1000th post in the face here in the drafting window leaves me... with few words.  I'll try to cough some out anyway.

When I began this blog in 2006, I was in The Baby Season.  I was young, figuring out how to be a wife and a mother and a woman and all the other things I should be in the world, while smack in the middle of birthing four babies in four years, and, despite caffeinated beverages and daily naps, I was constantly a little exhausted no matter what.

And I started writing whatever.  Whenever I wanted to.  Talk about a perfect example of traveling from the ridiculous to the sublime.

But I've loved it.  And it's kept me sane, and given me connections and friendships I never could have made otherwise- and my life is far richer for it.

And now I see that in the last year, the season has turned.  I don't yet know what to call it- I suppose it's better to wait for the hindsight that will come down the road to provide the namesake- but it has been a beautiful transition.

My loves for Jesus, Jim, my children, and my passion for life have become clearer, richer, grander and deeper.

Our children are growing in every way and I'm humbled to have a part in it- and greatly humbled to stand back and watch them fly a little farther every day. 

I absolutely love giving my life and my time and my energy at home with Grace, Patience, Lily, and Hudson.  I will never, ever regret it.

This is our last year of homeschooling and I can't get over how grateful I am for that season.  It was imaginative, full, fun, and fruitful.  My children, and I, have loved it.  But the season will end this year.  And we are all ready, peaceful, and excited for this next chapter to begin.  I can't get the words right, but to say- I am so grateful to have had such a beautiful, creative, and rich experience learning at home- that we can leave the season with good memories, and happily embrace all the change that will come with three girls away at school next year.  I'm so excited to see them growing so gracefully into this next milestone- and I know they will love it- it's a bittersweet end to one phase of life that I've savored- and it's a hopeful beginning of something new.

Our season of having babies is long gone, our children are growing up, we're a little more free, and life seems to be bringing about change and new, bigger vision this year.

Jim loves his job.  I can't get over how significant that is- that we both absolutely love what we do.

And I will spend this year teaching as many people as possible how to get creative control over their cameras- meaning they'll be inspired to photograph more of their lives- documenting the people, places, and events that make them rich.  I don't take it lightly that I'm a small part of something that significant. 

We have a warm home to call our own, and it's full of good food and people we love.  I get to wear "big" earrings whenever I want, and no babies ever pull them out.  I easily get a shower every single day.  That's a great thing.  And each passing year, we become more certain that a safe, comfortable, "happy" life is not going to satisfy us.

We are a part of an incredible church, and it, too, is growing.  I get so excited thinking about all the ways this city will be impacted by The Ransom as the years pass.

And now, suddenly, a part of my heart is in Africa.  And I have no idea what the future holds, but God, I'll do it.

I'm writing all the time.  I'm taking arts courses online, because I love it.  I listen to good music that stirs me up.  I've stopped photographing in any way that feels forced, and have embraced doing the work I love with my camera- and I've left the rest behind.  I read several books a month, and drink hot tea every day.  I have time to have long, completed thoughts, sometimes.  My husband still likes me.  And I like him.  My kids think I'm kinda cool.  Most of the time.  I have some good friends that are authentic, and true.  

Almost daily I fail, and get humbled, and have opportunities to say I'm sorry.  I feel very, very needy.  I feel wrecked and sure that I can't do anything good on my own.  Every year that passes I realize things I thought were right were wrong.  And every day I talk to Jesus through it all.  He's right there even in the most mundane, ordinary moments of my day.  And I know that I know it.  And I'm all wrapped up in it.

My every day life is good.  And God is keeping us a little restless, a little reckless- and dare I say I hope He keeps it up. 

I am grateful.


Rachel said...

You're very much a person I wish I could be friends with in real life. I'm glad you share some of your thoughts and every days with us here. It's certainly made my life richer.

Jim said...

My job is good, but I think I want your job... :)

Megan said...

I know, my job is the sizzle.

Blair said...

Congrats on 1000 posts! Just looked and I'm at 1163; I started in '06 too :) I'm enjoying your reflections on Zambia and look forward to hearing about your new year! I guess we may need to retire the Home Schoolin' Mamas blog?