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Thursday, June 5, 2008

An afternoon with Murphy.


(No, the fish's name is not Murphy. It's Rooster. Remember Nemo Earring? He died last week. Even Jim and I were sad to see him go. It was his time.)
1. We got home after a good, yet really drawn-out day of fun and errands.
2. I discovered that, though I caught the few ants that showed up in our kitchen early, it was apparently going to get much worse before it got better. After thinking this morning that the ant traps had done their job and they were obliterated, there was a heavy resurgence. BLAGH.
3. While the girls ate their lunch, I vacuumed the whole first floor, heavy emphasis on cleaning tool work in the kitchen, and then cleaned the kitchen floor (again, just like yesterday) in search of ants, because BLAGH! After the cleaning tool work was done, I went to hand-to-hand combat with the ants. I won every battle. I know the traps will do the job, but yuck! in the meantime!- I'll do all I can to annihilate them. The girls, while at the table, told me they prayed the ants would go away. Amen.
4. While I was vacuuming the kitchen, Lily (our third child, who from the time of mobility has gone off to do something naughty nearly every time she knows my back is good and turned) was sitting at the table munching the goldfish and apples left on her plate when over the vacuum, I heard a scream. I look up to see it came from Grace and Patie. In horror, because Lily dumped her milk in Rooster's bowl (Rooster sits at the table with them for meals).
"Lily, did you pour your milk in Rooster's bowl?"
"No. Uh uh."
"Lily, did you pour milk in Rooster's bowl?"
(with a sweet, innocent look on her face)"No, uh uh, I di-ent"
"Lily, Grace and Patie saw you pour milk in Rooster's bowl. Did you pour milk in his bowl?"
"Yeah. Milk in bowl, uh huh."
**edited for those who disapprove of spanking**
5. I took the bowl over to the sink to exchange milky water for clean. The girls cleaned up their lunch dishes and placemats. Then they sat at the kitchen counter on the benches to watch me work. Grace stood next to me. She was the only one that saw. That saw Rooster jump out of the bowl and down in to the sink....the garbage disposal side. Yeah. Grace instantly gasped and burst in to tears, knowing very well he'd gone in to forbidden territory, because she'd been warned about the dangerous "knives" in the disposal a hundred times.
6. Did I mention that Hudson had been screaming in his high chair ever since I turned off the vacuum? I hastily prepared him a bottle, while consoling Grace, who was clearly traumatized, saying, "Now he's going to get chopped up in to lots and lots of pieces!!". Hudson was clearly tired and starving, so I made him the priority before I got to Rooster. Hudson, by the way smelled, as a result of some "work" he did during the **edited for those who disapprove of spanking** episode. I plopped him down on his boppy with Patie, who happily fed him while I tended to the Betta-fiasco.
7. Lily, certain of the inevitable, though I told them there was still hope, repeated the phrase "fishy died" in the neighborhood of 120 times while I worked.
8. I got a flashlight and tried to see if Rooster was in sight. I don't care to look in there again. Ever. Nothing short of my wedding ring will EVER get me to go looking in there again. There were some tiny pieces of orange peel left over from breakfast, and no fish. And no, I was NOT going to take it apart.
9. Mid-way through my fish-quest, Patie saw a spider on the wall (what IS it with bugs today??), and now everyone, already tense about the fish's welfare, was obsessed about this spider.
10. After the fish was declared a lost cause, I scooped up the now-full Hudson, just in time for him to throw up. It was a burp gone bad, no doubt the extra gas was caused by all the laughing at Patie he did while he was eating.
11. Spider? Tiny, and a goner. H-Man? Smells no more. Everyone else but me? Napping. Rooster? Swimming with the fishes. End of story. I told Grace Rooster was takin' the drain trip just like Nemo, which seemed to make sense to her, so we're going with it. What do I know? Maybe he is.

10 comments:

anne said...

hillarious...
I love the edited out part :) gave me a chuckle.
The scones were scrumptious. I made sure not to over-do the choc. chips...even though it is tempting to dump a whole bag in. I actually used the mini chips...those worked well. :)
I really enjoy your blog too...and check daily! We are off on vacation...but I will "see" you when we get back! :)
Have a great weekend!
A

Sgt and Mrs Hub said...

Hello life with small children.... you are never dull, are you?

Let's be neighbors, you and me, Megan. We would do well with the commiserating on normal, everyday life with small children. Did I say commiserating?

I meant, rejoicing!!! ;)

-Andrea

Jake and Jenn Boerger said...

Wow! What a story - I felt like I was there!

Kim said...

This is great Meagan! You are a trip. I've so had days like that, minus rooster and two kids. So, I guess not exactly like that. We are fighting a roach infestation that is about to make wear shoes on my hands.

Motherhood, never a dull moment!

amanda said...

i can't stop laughing honey!!

love the play by play.

love that grace thinks rooster is swimming with nemo.

and most of all love the "edited for those who disapprove of spanking"

a great post mama!!

Jessica said...

Let's see--screaming baby, drowning fish *weighs hands as if a scale*

I'm going to go with: you made the right choice.

Hope your next day is better!

Did you really post that at 3 a.m.?

Lisa said...

That was a doozer day, Megan. You can't make that stuff up!

Kristen said...

Oh I am so sorry you have had to deal with all of this Megan, but I am dying laughing over here!

Your descriptions were so perfect that I could invision the whole thing happening!

Sorry to hear about Rooster, but like you said, he could just be free now! :)

Hysterical!!

Eva said...

Too too funny. I especially liked the edited for spanking portion.

Ris said...

the drain trip like Nemo thing is hilarious! Great thinking, Mom!! The disposal grosses me out too. Fish freak me out and there is no way I would "fish around" in the disposal to fish him out. Yick!!!