Love it.

Honestly.  JT.  JF.  What's not to love?  This was awesome. 
Oh Jimmy, if only we could stay up late enough to actually see this stuff when it happens.

Love Planted Deeply

I love you more than a slow-falling summer rain

More than a silence that only the snow leaves behind
I love you more

And I love you better than the gray of the autumn air
Better than spring in its blooming against the sky
I love you more

It may not be red as the roses yet
It may not be strong as the old oak trees but
Love planted deeply becomes what it ought to be

Your love is steady and sure as the mountains high
Moving my heart like a river that gently bends
Your love is sure

Your love is wide open spaces where I can run
And yet, we're tangled up roots in the warm broken earth
Yeah, our love is sure

And it may not be clear as the morning yet
It may not be wide as a restless sea but
Love given freely becomes what it ought to be

It may not be clear as the morning yet
It may not be wide as a restless sea
And it may not be red as the roses yet
It may not be strong as the old oak trees but
Love planted deeply becomes what it ought to and
Hearts given freely become what they ought to
Love planted deeply becomes what it ought to be
What it ought to be

Audrey Assad, Ought to Be

Mrs. Koch, Week 3:Variations of Light

This week I talked with my HS Photography Class about light- how to begin seeing it, and how it affects our surroundings, and our photographs.  We looked at many kinds of light in various situations and needed to post examples of different types of light, and also samples of "good" and "bad" lighting.

And this is my post...

.................................................................................................................................

This is just a snapshot from an event, and so it's very valuable, whether it's "perfect" or not- but- it's a great example of dappled light under a tree- see the hot spots?  Look for those, and avoid them when it matters.

This is my table at a dinner party I had a few weeks ago.

In the light...

And in almost complete darkness.  I manipulated my camera to let in as much light as possible, and this is the result- grainy, but with personality.

 The sunset reflecting off a swirling stream.  Nice, warm reflection.

My kitchen is a great place to take pictures during the day- with windows on the East and West sides only, I get great, bright, even natural light between about 10 and 4.

Sometimes you'll notice light makes things almost "glow", like liquids, or almost "neon", like when you photograph a semi-translucent flower in the day time.

I always love seeing light pass through glass.  Love it!

Here's the Ransom Band playing at Lifelight- had some great open shade here.  See how that tent diffuses the light and makes a big bright "box" for everyone to sit under? 

Rides at the fair- I didn't use a tripod- I was just having fun- so it's a little wibbly wobbly, but, this is an example of what you can do with longer exposures.

More beautiful, reflective light at the fair.

And the thing I look forward to every year at the fair is the beautiful, bright open shade of the 4H shelters- I absolutely LOVE photographing the animals in cages here- isn't the background awesome?



Consumed.

I was talking to someone last week about parenting.

Their main point was that any woman that can handle more than one child, and do it with any measure of goodness, is a saint.

I quickly pointed out that once one child has consumed your heart and your life, more couldn't possibly make a bigger dent.

And later, I was thinking in the dark quiet of a new morning, about the life that God calls me to- callings that consume me.

Throughout my day, my life as a woman who belongs to God, as a wife, as a mother, and as a citizen of the world, is consumed with purpose, with meaning, with a job to do and love to pour out.  The callings fill my thoughts, my hopes, my dreams, my prayers, my time.  They keep me acutely aware of my neediness for a God who never runs out of the supply of faith, hope, love, wisdom, humor, intelligence, creativity, lavish generosity and energy that I need to keep going and not grow weary. 

These roles consume me.  Take up all my time. Take over what I want and constantly press to replace my selfishness with a compelling to give up my small perceptions of what is good, and to instead give of myself in 1000 ways- usually small, ordinary, difficult, or mundane. 

A life's work is made up of a million choices to lay your life down to something greater, to give your life away.  And the fruit of that work brings and speaks life into the world.

And I thought about the way these loves I'm called to consume me.  I can't get away, and though life is not simple or easy, I'd never want to.  I'm totally engulfed in something bright and beautiful- a great, strong fire that is good to call up the things in me that don't belong here, and to burn them away- leaving something more authentic and true, and revealing obvious evidence of the Divine.

And so I suppose this type of life can appear to be very difficult from the outside- but my heart knows, for this imperfect woman, this all-consuming call is very, very good.

Breadsmith.

I just discovered Breadsmith last week.  The bread is amazing, the location is great for me, the people there are sweet, and it's not overpriced.  It's perfectly priced- enough to bring honor to people making good bread, but not so high that it has to be a luxury, rather than common, purchase.  We'll be eating this bread a lot.  And they've got pizza dough, and daily specials, and- you should just see it.

Jim makes some mean bread, but, never has time to make it.

I lack the patience to make bread myself.

What I'm saying is, you should go there.  I think they're going to get to know us by name.

Point and Shoot Class October 16

Learn how to take better pictures with any camera at the next Point and Shoot Class- Saturday, October 16, 10-11:30 AM in Sioux Falls- Location TBA. Cost is $20, registration is open now through October 1. If that training flips your lid- great! You'll also receive 20% off a future mentoring session with me.




Comment here or contact me via FullLifePhoto.com for registration info.

Ocean.

When I was three years old, I did something wrong.  I have no idea what it was.

In the vivid mental picture of the moment, I perfectly recall my grandmother's face as she spoke, "Did you know, God has a book for every person?  Whenever you do something, God makes a red mark, or a black mark, in your book."

The assumption being, red for good.  Black for bad.

I recall my mother's face beside but behind her a bit, giving a knowing, nodding expression as if to confirm the truth.

Afterward, I went outside, and sat on my swing set.  It was a little cold.  The sun was setting.  Probably Autumn or early Spring.  Things were brown everywhere.

I was washed over in shame.

And that single moment was a rod, entering between my shoulder blades, and shoved down through my spine.  It immediately grew limbs that reached to my fingers, my feet, my brain. 

And for nearly two decades, that shame ruled my mind, my actions, my motivations, my perceptions, and my reception of the world and all the people in it.

And regardless of what I did, I knew the reds could never, ever outnumber the blacks.  And I was left in the hopelessness, acting out in 1,000 ways that I could not have articulated back to the shame.  But it ruled me.

When God called my heart out of the confusion and into something new, solid, and true, I ran into it, and didn't look back.

But still, the words I would hear about grace, forgiveness- my head knew it was true.  I knew I was wrapped up in a love that was remarkable, all-encompassing, and final.  My heart knew the God who'd embraced me and the Jesus who died for me was true, but when I heard about grace- which was often- I couldn't really grasp it.  And I knew it.  I wanted to.  I believed and prayed God would help my unbelief.  And that was very important. 

But to hear about grace from the mouth of some amazed friend who'd seen the light- I heard the words, but when my heart longed to press into them, I hit cold concrete.

Then, in the summer of 2001, I read this book.

And in the reading, that oppressive rod was extracted swiftly and with passion that was a lover saving his beloved's life.  A lifetime of painful moments and memories terrorized by a lie were called up, revealed- but I didn't feel any shame for them.  I only felt unbelievable relief, and clarity- almost drunk in the golden moment when my heart was finally free to bend and flex and feel as it was created to do.

And I was able to move about freely.  My eyes, my heart, my mind were new.  Vivid clarity in the truth that I was not ever good enough, but that Christ's sacrifice and God's love were more than enough, and I didn't need to work at being enough anymore- that I am loved because I am His, not for what I do-  Words I'd known were true, but couldn't embrace for myself.

And now it was my time to finally, finally know and experience the vast warm ocean of goodness I'd only heard about, read about, heard songs about, that I'd only seen snapshots and postcards of, as friends around me had been swimming in the real thing.

It's Fall Ya'll

The air is crispy, the leaves are starting to turn.  The sun is bright but the nights are chilly.

I love it when bright signs of Autumn begin to pop around every corner and it's clear that Fall is here to stay a while.

Wine Tasting Recap.

Wow- no lie, this was absolutely one of the best ladie's nights I've ever had.  Probably one of my favorite "dinner parties" ever.  For sure in the top 5.

It was awesome.  12 ladies- and 5 hours of sampling wine, eating great food, and talking and talking and talking.  We all stayed up late past our bedtimes, and the time flew by.  I had no idea it was so late when we closed up shop.  Five hours of eating, talking, laughing, even crying a couple of times, together at a table.  Isn't that exactly how women have a good time?? 

If you're going to host a tasting of your own, I have a few tips. 

1.  Rustic, basic, natural foods are a great companion for wine- especially if you want them to shine as you compare the different varieties.  We had sourdough cheese twists, water crackers, great bread with dipping olive oil and balsamic vinegar, brie, sharp cheddar (with a natural honey drizzle), gouda, and sausage.  Also marinated olives, several kinds of chocolate, natural almonds, dried figs and apricots, and bosc pears.  Not only are these simple and tasty, but you don't have to cook anything. 

2.  The point of a tasting  is to sample many kinds of wine, pairing them with sweet, savory, basic foods.  So, for each passing of a new bottle of wine, everyone takes about 1/2 inch of wine in their glass- it's about savoring the flavors.  As you sample, travel from the lightest, to the darkest and richest (white to red).  We also had glasses for ice water, flutes for sparkling cider, and also tea and coffee.  I love any reason to break out the silver, and the china, and all kinds of pretty glasses.

3.  Get a glass marker.  You can write on any glass surface, it dries instantly, and then you can use and use your glass and the label stays clear for everyone- no worries about setting down your glass, and never finding it again.  It's especially good when you're using a few different kinds of glasses.  When it's all over, it comes right off with hot, soapy water.

4.  We wrote down the names of the wine, if we wanted, and took notes on what we thought.  I also photographed most of the bottles...I think I missed a few.   No other way could you sample, compare and contrast so many wonderful wines at one time, for so little cost.  So fun.

Ladies, I just love you!  Thanks for a wonderful night!

It's "Pictures From My Kitchen Week" on the Blog....I Guess.

While I took pictures of that cider I was right about, and my new French Press, and some other things I'll probably never blog, all in my kitchen, I shot this too.

This little dock for our iPods changed my life.  Really.  It sounds dramatic, but, it's true.

Our computer speakers are great, but the office is in another room.  Having this in the center of the house is incredible.

Jim got it for me for my birthday this year.  He got it, after all my completely un-subtle hints as to my desire to own one.

It is amazing.  Great sound for such a cute, unassuming little thing the size of your hand.  Perfect for the kitchen- and did I mention the sound is great? 

It's relatively pricey, but if you listen to music all. the. time. like we do, it really is a worthy investment.

Pressed

I got a gift last week- something I've wanted for-ever, and never bought for myself.

I cannot wait to try it out, to use it in the afternoons and take my strong coffee to my desk with me, to use it at dinner parties.  I'm all over this French Press.

And it's so good to remind me that children and hot fluids should be kept apart.  I thought that was a funny way to phrase it.

But anyway, Thanks!

Whip It.

Want to know how to use your DSLR? Do you ever have a picture in your mind, but no matter what you do, it doesn't come out "right"?  Whip that DSLR into submission!  Check it out!

Who's Cider You On?

Jim went to the store on Sunday.  He asks if I need anything.  I say apple cider for Life Group on Tuesday.  He says, "OK." 

By saying "OK", I infer that he will return from the store with the exact thing I asked for.  Is this not to be assumed?

But Ooooh No.  He comes back with Apple Juice.  Something so terrible I shudder when other people give it to my children like it's a serving of fruit and good for them.  Seriously, who made up that idea- that fruit juices like that are good for kids?  If you're going to get that much sugar, you might as well take a Vitamin C chewable and chase it with a Mountain Dew.  It would be nutritionally equal.

Jim knows as much, but says it was cheaper, and it was the "same", right?  So no biggie.

Oh no he di-ent.

I was totally annoyed.  Which I told him.  This of course, just makes him smile.  That's how our marriage works, you know.  I get annoyed, he just thinks it's funny.  He's cute, I admit, I like him a lot, I get over it.  This is how it goes 98% of the time.

But of COURSE I went back to the store and got the real thing- because I was right and there is a difference and it is SO big of a deal. 

Just look at the difference in the two up there.  Obviously, cider is made differently, has sediment which is tasty, it tastes more like real apple, since it's from fresh apples, not Frankenstein-Apple Concentrate, and so on and so on.  Cider- though still full of sugar, is more purposeful in it's creation- made to be drunk in a mug, after being warmed with spices- you know, a special thing.  These are the things Jim heard ad nauseum on Sunday. 

Because I was right. 

Now there's a giant gallon-sized container of Apple Juice waiting on top of my fridge for some moment when I absolutely know for certain I want to send my children straight to Sugar Coma Town, Population 4.

End of post.

Mrs. Koch, Week 2: My Favorite Things

These are my submissions for my JH/HS Photography class. Week 2: My Favorite Things.  They need to photograph and share 5.  I shared more.  It's hard to narrow it down.  My students need to create new photographs each week, to display the skills they learned in class, through their submissions.  I just get to troll my archives.  Because I'm the teacher.  I've got other things to do- right?

..................................................

Well, of course my family is a big favorite thing.

Grace

Patience

Lily

Hudson

And this is my husband, and really fun best friend, Jim.  He always makes weird faces for pictures.  Always.

He was eating a Double Down from KFC on a dare.  He did it!

I love thrift stores and finding unique things.

I LOVE to read.

I love to bake (and my family loves that I love to bake).

I love Target, and Coffee- so I thought this photo was appropriate, since it includes both.

I also love Intelligentsia coffee, but I can only get it in Chicago.

But that brings up another thing I love- big cities.  I love the energy and the atmosphere, and all the things you can do.  I also love coming back home.

I love art- in paintings, music, poetry and literature, and in architecture.

I love my friends (this is one of them, at a party with lots of them).

I love nature, and being outdoors.

I ♥ Faces Week 38: Smirk

Hudson on the first day of school.

See more smirking at



RSVP

I'm hosting another ladie's night this weekend.  I can't help it.  I have all these amazing friends, who love to have fun and, surprisingly, don't mind having fun with me, and we've got no plans and my house will be empty as Jim and the 4 will be otherwise engaged. 

So I'm filling my house with candles and music and women again. 

If you're in the area, and want in on a super fun unpretentious wine tasting party, go here to RSVP on the event page- more info can be found there as well.

If wine isn't your thing, come with a pretty drink to share like sparkling cider etc- I've got an assortment of breakable, pretty glasses here, just waiting for you, along with all kinds of foods that bless a woman's heart like olives, cheeses, crusty bread, fruits, and nuts.

See you then!

Storehouse

Sometimes the wear of life leaves me feeling vulnerable, weak.  Like I could just break. 

Sometimes loving you goes that way. 

Some times are beautifully hard, and raw and leave me exposed.

But miraculously, when I feel pulled to loose threads, you'll say something.  Break something. Need something.  You'll look at me.

And in the full mystery and wonder of love not of myself, there it is.  The love that never wears out.  Never stretches beyond what it can bear.  Always full, always growing, always alive in my core, always ready to pour out to you.

And the love I need, and the love you need is there.  Never running out.  Never breaking down.  Always swelling and growing richer.

Especially in the times when I'm threadbare.

...And I give you all that I have to give

Give you all that I have to give

When I give you all that I have to give

I still have a storehouse full

This love is reciting me like a backwards rhyme

The more that you lose of yourself the more you find

Take me out of myself and into

The clothes of royalty

Love has taken me...

And I give you all that I have to give

But still have a storehouse full

Storehouse, by Sandra McCracken

Slave Free Halloween

It seems early, but it takes a little extra time to get prepared if you want a Fair Trade Halloween.

You can find a great idea here, and place an order, or create your own cards and kit. 

And of course, if you did hand out cards with a piece of slave free chocolate, or the like, you can always still hand out big handfuls of a non-chocolate candy, like suckers etc, so you can still give a "good" gift to your neighborhood kids, and not just be that house that gives out literature, and just one stingy little treat.

Spinning Plates

I have been so busy in the last two weeks- but today- today it finally feels like not just my head, but my whole self is out of the water.  And to add to the visual images I'm using to describe my life, I have lots of plates in the air.

We started school last week, and are doubling up our goals for Grace and Patience, and adding Hudson in with Lily for Preschool.  Hudson obviously needs quite a bit of attention to stay quiet, still, and focused, but he's also very motivated by candy, and he's doing well- he's never missed a reward.  I used to set the girls off on something, and just need to be present- but I could be in the other room doing something- for a large chunk of school.  Now someone needs me basically every moment.  It's new.  And it will get better.  I just need to keep it up.  Honestly, school has been going very, very well when I look back on it.  But I've just felt incredibly stressed out- I'm not even sure my kids noticed.  So far none of those fantastic spinning plates have hit the floor- and yesterday and today I totally see things "clicking" for Grace and Patie- who've got a lot of new, challenging work to do every day.  I'm so proud of them.

I feel a bit like I was used to spinning three plates, and now I'm spinning 9.  And the "Full Life Fall Frenzy" of sessions is starting up this week and lasts into November.  I'm grateful for that, but, that adds, let's say, five more plates to my week.  And I've lost a greater chunk of my day that I used to use for accomplishing something other than school, like taking care of our house, answering business emails, blogging, quality time with the treadmill (and then showering) and all the other miscellaneous things of life.  I also lost my Monday, as we joined a home school co-op for the year.  Everything about the co-op is great, other than that I have to get everyone up an hour early on Monday morning, and we're gone essentially all day.  And Monday was always, always my day for laundry, getting serious about getting things in order for a new week, etc.  Now I'm all thrown off.  It will take a few weeks to get over it, and find a new spin to our schedule so things still get done.

Today Grace told me about a dream she had last night, and then she illustrated it for me while she was waiting for Patie to finish something.  Picture this:  She's at an apple orchard with our whole family, plus extended family, and the whole family is standing together, inspecting the apples and a neat garden.  She, however, is outside of the garden, walking through the orchard hand-in-hand with President "Ubamu", as she spelled it. 

And that's my post for today.

Mrs. Koch, Week 1: Significant Photographs

Several people called me Mrs. Koch yesterday.  I'm still not quite over it. 

Moving on.

I'm teaching the Junior High and High School students Photography at our homeschool Co-Op this year.  We have a private blog.

That's right.  It's exclusive.  You can't get in.

But I thought I would post my entries here each week. 

This week's assignment was designed to help everyone get to know each other better, and to get an introduction into blogging.  We're posting three significant photographs, whether we were the photographer or not. 

Mine are a bit random- because there is no way I could narrow thousands of significant photographs down to three top picks...so I chose what came to mind first.

I chose this one.

And this one.

And this one.